Acts of Creation at Last

Maybe it's about time to actually write what I started this blog to say.

This is me being honest. This is what sleeps in my heart and which I choke down every time I am forced to listen to anyone talk about things in which they believe.
And yes, I am young and stupid and angry and unfortunate and probably shallow and unexperienced, but I claim that my death and life and thought will be no less profound than anyone who has lived or died before or after me.

In my eyes, my generation is running out of things to believe in. This is foolish. The first thing we read in the Foundation Year Program was an egyptian poem. In this was the bemoaning of the ending of the civilization of the time. Young no longer respect their elders, brigands and cutthroats rule the land, the rulers are corrupt and incompetent, and surely it can get no worse than this. Nothing lasts forever. This is not Buddhism. Buddhism is an emotional neutering which delivers what it promises.This is history. Standards of living go up, GNP grows, life expectancy increases, and in all measurable ways things have gotten better for us. (I'm ignoring impending environmental disaster because it's more like impending evironmental moderate alterations and compensations. Overblown). But in the noosphere, things are bleaker than normal, and yet more fertile. After Nietzsche, and Derrida and Heidegger and Wittgenstein, most organized modes of thought have been ...fully understood for what they are. As I see it, and understand it, Wittgenstein really did let the fly out of the bottle. There are still many overgrown children who believe in Gods that hold their hand and tell them the world isn't scary, but here's a news flash, idiots: God. Is. Dead. More to the point, he never existed. You made Him/Her/It up. From paper and dreams, you gave yourselves comforting illusions. Nothing more. And for the rest of us, we can try to ignore the problem, or improvise. In Galileo's time, and place, there was only one option. Now we have a buffet. From all over the world, we may now pick and choose our salvation. Tantra, Zoraster, Islam, Christianity, nihilism, atheism, agnosticism, gnostics of all sorts and every branch of new-age bullshit we like. "No, really, I find, like, that crystals really help me deal better with hostile people. I mean, like, I can see their auras, and I know, like, that it's not mine and they don't have to bother me if I don't let them, y'know?" "I find the simplicity of the neoplatonic's ideals really speak to me, you know? Like there's something there which I can relate to." "But I understand now, God really does love me! So much, just so much love!...*drunken mumbling*" And do any of you see how hypocritical these things are, from their own backgrounds? something as fundamental and universal as faith and conviction have become commodities of psychology and personal fit, mix'n'match convenience packs of your favorite hellfire and heaven bite-sized pieces. And even if someone takes it into their head to order an entire cake with all the trimmings, or less, or more, or whatever, that still doesn't change the fundamental irreconcilabilities present in their roots. This has been gone over. I'm confident I could go somewhere, and maybe I couldn't, but I'm not here for that right now.

Creation ex nihilo. Creation out of nothing. I pose this- Can we believe fully and have faith in something we fashion ourselves, out of whole cloth? Can we make our own futures, our own ethics, our own meanings, from nothing? We have nothing now, certainly. We have forgetfulness and corporate scandals and impermanence, and middle age and deathbed compactions of life experiences and plastic flowers and urns and barbie dolls. Can someone really believe in that? and what else is there to believe in? The word of Allah and Jesus war against each other and although every streetside philosopher can point out the absurdities of their actions, no one really cares in the holy war?

"Destroy the place and you destroy the person". Herbert was right, and I'm hijacking him. We the possessed and cared for and blessed, are discontent. We have the leisure of time to think, and we find nothing is worthy to think about. Our works are as dust in our mouths, and with our survival all but guaranteed, we find nothing worth living for. And the wheel of time will turn, and we will have economic shifts, and we will then be the third world while Africa feasts, and we will have meaning again. Survival. Food. Shelter. Company. Companionship. Things will be simple again, and we will write songs of the beauty of nature and love, and an all-loving god/ess will rule or crush us and we will be happy. Again. And the wheel of time will turn again. Things will change. We with foresight and reason can see all this, can see all mortal efforts go to dust, all things forgotten, all things change. And after the pain and loss and questioning, what then? WHAT THEN?

Give up?