____ This ____

Life is beautiful. Life can kick you in the face, take all your money, and then flaunt the (female dog) who stole it all personally in your kitchen, taking fer fecal matter without repercussion. I restrain myself from attacking her for the benefit of my friends, because I certainly don't see myself getting any money back from her. We trusted her, and she threw shit on us, and then rubbed it in all our faces, and stole some more. We gave her a second chance, and she did the whole thing again, only this time she's leaving, and sees fit to blame the whole mess on me. ME. I HAVE PAID FOR HER EVERY GOD_DAMN MONTH this year. Every time. And she screams in my face and tells me to F-ck off, when I point out reality to her. I am paying and paying and paying, and she is screwing us, and I will pursue, but expect no justice. Some shit I understand. A car hits the person you love most, fine. It happens. Drunk Driver. Slippery roads, whatever. Bank forecloses? Pick up the pieces and start over. Shit happens. But this is and has been personal, and I have expressed every one of her god-damn christian morals, and so has everyone else in the house, more so. And she walks all over us, to the tune of $1600 (Which is not the worst it's been) and more, when so much more is counted. This is money I don't really have. It is tuition, and rent, and bills and food, and that's all I can afford, at the best of times. And I cannot exact justice because that would be wrong. This is personal. I may not be a starving kid in Nepal, or Ethiopia, or wherever, and I may not have seen my parents get killed at the hands of government-paid mercenaries so my land could be cleared for american megacorporations, but I have had someone in my confidence and whom I trusted screw me over royally, and then do it again because she just wanted to. My friends have taken the abuse, and the worry and frustration, and I must restrain my fist. All because somewhere in the christian morality we all inherited from our great-granddaddies we were told it was wrong to exact revenge and justice and so it was the word of God. And I won't, for the sake of the friends I have, but I don't feel like any of them really understand just how much I hate this. And the whore is in my kitchen taking her shit and she will, for all intents and purposes, get away scot-free, because she has nothing left to lose. We will take it up the ass for her, for a morality which is false and shallow, and we are not in a position to do so. But I can hate, and will not be told my hate is wrong.